Rain Rain Go Away

Happy Humpday ya'll! It's Wednesday, and my boss is out of town at a meeting, which makes for a relaxing day for yours truly. And to top it all off, I have a lunch date. Exciting, isn't it.

Last night, I washed and straightened my hair, painted my nails, and all that jazz. I spent FOREVER flatiron-curling it this morning, and look quite awesome, if I do say so myself. So imagine the sheer joy I felt when I walked outside and got smacked in the face with the wet washcloth we call carolina humidity....

No problem, I used extra John Frieda Frizz Control products, and it's all good. Or so I thought. As I type this, the bottom has fallen out of the sky, and it is pouring buckets. I go to check my coif in ladies room, and while I still have big bouncy curls on the left, the right side is slowly dying a horrible death.....damn you mother nature. *shakes fist at sky*

Now I sorta wished I was one of "those" girls, and had an extra curling iron in my desk drawer. Guess what I'll be buyin this week. Thank goodness I actually have an umbrella in my office today. Maybe if I cross my fingers and wish realllllllly hard, the rain will stop in the next 15 minutes before I have to leave......

4-20!

Today is my birthday! Yippee! I love my birthday, and celebrate it for one week before, and one week after. My mother thinks it's insane, but hey, you gotta find happiness somewhere right?


All through college, I was greeted with "Happy 4-20." Yeah, great, go smoke weed on the mall, but dammit, it's my birthday and I want to hear "Happy Birthday." My friends now know better than to not say Happy Birthday....


I once had a boss (we'll call her Nancy) who told me a girl should always buy herself a little something pretty for her birthday. And in true diva fashion, when my daughter was born, Nancy brought her an adorable little outfit, and shared the same wisdom with her.


As I've grown, (and made my own money) my tastes have gotten more expensive, but I still enjoy getting pricey things for thrifty prices. This year, I bought 2 beautiful leather handbags by Hayden Harnett, and some pretty beaded necklaces with matching bracelets.


Tonight, I'll go to Hooters, eat steamed shrimp and wings, and drink a couple of Big Daddy's to celebrate. Yep, that's right, celebrate, cuz we know how much I like to eat, and well I did go to the #1 party school on the east coast.


When I turned 30, I had a mini meltdown. I was getting old; I was an adult; There are no more exciting milestones, as 16, 18 and 21 were long gone. I still look like I'm 15, and I'm thankful for that more and more as I see people my age who look like they could very well be my mother.


So yes, I'm getting older, but I choose to embrace it and celebrate. After all, the alternative to getting older is getting dead, and we don't want that round here any time soon.

Bah Wednesday

It's another day in the world of the pig...and don't I sound excited. I know, I have so much to be thankful for. I get this, I do, and I am, really, but sometimes, I just want to run away from it all. Life with a toddler is tons of fun. Especially when said toddler is sick, with a snotty nose that she doesn't yet know how to blow. You know what that means right? Good 'ole Mr. Aspirator to the rescue. Now I would like to point out that trying to use this thing on a mini human is similar to trying to drown a cat. They scream, they run, they scratch, claw and bite, all the while insuring that the neighbors think you abuse children, because really, they sound like you're trying to kill them. Great way to start a morning, huh? If I could just figure out a way to inject her meds into chocolate, we' d be good to go...

Sure is dusty around here....

So yeah, it's been a while....how's everyone doing? And by everyone, I pretty much mean Sarah, my one and only follower, and the 3 or 4 lurkers who have commented on a post I've written....

Well, Piggy is back! I've realized that blogging is much like keeping a diary when I was younger. And I miss it, so dear blogosphere, you're stuck with reading more about my life (or lack thereof) and having my views and opinions shoved oh-so-gracefully down your throat...cuz this is the internets, and we can do that.

I've recently come across a few blogs that, while could technically be called mommy blogs, they are funny, and irreverent, and snarky, and dammit, just make me laugh.

First up, Mary Anne at The Stiletto Mom (www.thestilettomom.com). Let me tell you, I laughed my ass off, I cried, and laughed some more. See despite my super-cool exterior, and amazing aura of confidence, I have doubts. I don't always think I'm the greatest mom, or best daughter, or model employee, and that can get you a little down. Add to that my non-existent social life and you've got me all ready to pack up and run away. Is it really that bad? No, probably not, but that doesn't make it any less real. And then I read about how Mary Anne is so winning the mother of the year award and I realize, you know what? Being a mom is tough....not just for me, but ALL moms, and we make it through, because that's what moms do. And then all is right with the world and I feel a little better.

Next we have Lynn at All Fooked Up (www.allfookedup.com). I mean seriously, the name alone can make you smile. I found Lynn through The Stiletto Mom, and she is just as hilarious. And real....she curses, she's sarcastic and unapologetic. I love it. I have done zero work today thanks to catching up on all her posts I never knew I wanted to read....

so, now that my little rant is over, I'd like to conclude by saying I've missed the blogosphere, and I'm back bitches!

Happy Blogiversary I am Style-ish!

I am Style-ish is having a 1 year blogiversary giveaway! Visit her blog now! Plus, she has super cute oufits and shoes to drool over!!

Thank you

Mrs. Piggy, along with her family, would like to express their heartfelt gratitude for the sympathy expressed following the passing of our beloved Enzo Angiolini Sandals. We would also like to take this time to introduce you to the newest member of our family, Rusty.

Flubber

There are those people who look in the mirror, and despite desperately needing to eat something, anything, they see a huge grotesque blob in the mirror....my heart breaks for those girls...I cannot imagine how difficult life must be for them, to constantly see something in their reflection that makes them soooo unhappy.

Then there's me....

I look in the mirror and go, "wow, I look really good. You can hardly tell I recently had a baby. I'm not any bigger than I was before she was born." Unfortunately, that is not reality...I am bigger....MUCH bigger. Is that a bad thing? Depends on who you ask I guess.

I guess you could say I'm in denial....

I had been convincing myself that it wasn't me, it was the designers who were cutting clothes smaller and smaller....choosing to ignore the sodas and icees and french fries that are a major part of my diet as possible culprits.

As part of my journey to fat acceptance, I have been reading lots of blogs...most of the girls on these blogs wear things that I would never ever think of wearing. My thought process went somewhere along the lines of "body con? why would you ever want to wear something so clingy if you are overweight?" I guess, this logic is based in part because of my mother's influence, and the fact that I myself am not comfortable with my body or size....

And then this weekend, the proverbial shit hit the fan....and a light bulb came on...

I was in the dressing room trying on a sleeveless top I thought would look cute under a jacket. Not loose and flowy, it was fitted, but still loose enough that if I stood still and sucked it all in and held my breath, I could pretend I was "skinny." It was a pretty color, nice fabric and on super sale...I was all set to fork over the cash and then..... "oh no, that is waaay too tight...you can't wear that" comes out of my mom's mouth. And I didn't buy it....

As I walked away, I started to simmer...then boil...and then it all spilled over. I had reached my breaking point. I know my mom only wants what's best for me...I know she wants me to look my best when I go out to face the world...but really, am I the one with the problem for having a gut that the world can see rounding out my shirt, or is the world the one with the problem for thinking that I can or should only wear certain things? (*sidenote: mom doesn't get on me about my weight because "skinny" is more attractive or anything like that...there's a long line of weight related health issues e.g. diabetes, CAD, etc, on both sides of the family, especially women; I'm a single mom of a little girl who needs me around; and my mom is plus sized too and she knows first hand the physical health issues she's had as a result of her weight)

I have big boobs. I am proud of my girls. They are mine, they are real (real hard to find bras for too but I digress) and they are beautiful. Why should I be any less proud of my wide hips or big thighs or rounded tummy?

Do I want to lose weight? Yes, but because my ankles and knees hurt from carrying my weight; because I don't want to develop diabetes and have to take tons of medications; because I don't want my heart to give out before it's time; because I need to be here to see my baby girl grow up.

In the meantime however, shouldn't I be happy to be me and wear things that make me happy? Even if me being happy means wearing a shirt you think is a little too tight over my tummy, or pants that prove I have a big butt, or a dress that shows I have both big boobs and wide hips?

I think so.....and quite frankly, I don't care if you do or not.